Another Day on the Job !!

By FeArLeSs JaCk and Donkey

Panzer image by Red Menace

Based on the possibility that it might have already happened ... honest ...
 

Chapter 1: Arriving at the office

Oh what's this? Cool! "Nice slap Seeg" I write in the console.  "Hey Jack" Seegster replies ... I am not sure why, but I always call him Seeg and so does everyone else.  MTL_killer says "loool   Seeg  ...  slap    him   again " with the usual extra spaces in between the words.  I never really knew why he does that, I suppose it must be that his space bar sticks or something.

"Hey Jack" ... "Jack" ... "Hey Jack".  I could never understand why Cobra had to say Hi so many times ... and why did he changed his name as much as he did?  There is a theory about that, something about being abducted by aliens and having a probe stuck up his ... well, you get the picture.  I think that is why Neo says he was coned ... Ouch!!

Now, let's see, first thing is to set my respawn to allies side ... got it! Okay, now to choose Allies ... Medic ... and Close ... I'm in, "WOOHOO" ... "HI" ... and the usual replies "YEAH" ... "HI" ... "HELLO" ... "THE ENEMY IS WEAKENED" ... heh heh, I guess maybe so.

Time to run down to Ops ... "Hey Spud" ... "HI". Time to take a look around and make sure all is well, brb.


Chapter 2: Checking the area for enemies

Anyone near the MG?  Nope, train looks fine ... and no one down near the flames.  Oh look at that, we have a sniper in the train ... better give him some meds ... 1, 2, 3, 4,  5,     6 ... "THANKS".  Better check up on him from time to time, he will probably need meds in a bit.

The other train looks good too, and back to ops ... "ALL CLEAR".  Time to get into my spot ... "thanks for keeping it warm SPUD" I think to myself as SPUD moves from my regular spot to his.

I suppose we all have our favorite places. The short train near Ops behind the entrance, the broken window in the ruins, the top of the train near FDA, behind the vertical cement beams in the warehouse or on the rafters.  Each place provides it degree of invisibility and protection.  I like mine because I can't hide ... and I can see the enemy coming from all directions.  I may not be protected from panzers and snipers, but I love my spot.  Maybe that is why SPUD covers it too.  Maybe he secretly wants to take over my position ... maybe I'll start crying if he does ... what will I do if I can't play from there? "Boo hoo hoo hooooo" I think to myself, but oh well, I'm still here for now and that's what matters.

Chapter 3: Enemy Intrusion

"Hey SPUD, any action?" I said.  "Hell Ya!, I brought these twins home last night and ... oh, you mean here ... heh heh, no it's been as dead as SilverBullet when he tries to plant at Ops." SPUD replied while giving me some ammo.

"So tell me, how were the twins?" I just couldn't help myself. "They were awesome! I never knew you could do these kind of things until they did them to me." he replied.  "Mmmm twins" Cobra interrupted, "did the twins like the dong?".  Then from what seemed out of nowhere we hear "The Enemy is Weakened" from SilverBullet.  I guess he must be on his way to Ops.

Suddenly Cobra was being slapped around Field Ops like a pinball.  "loooool   Seeg  " MTL_killer yelled, "slap   him   again  . . . ".  And just then, I shouted "Incoming" as I noticed an axis engineer appear from behind the boxes of the warehouse.  He was kneeling and looking in my direction as if to take me by surprise, but I had already seen this before and knew what to do.

I darted past the train on my right and in front of Ops, and then circled back to where he was ... 'Rat-a-tat-tat'.  "SilverBullet was killed by FeArLeSs JACk" appeared on the screen followed by "Damn you Jack".   So I replied "I may be a cunt, but you'll never screw me".

 

Chapter 4: All in a Day's Work - written by Donkey
 

So I returned back to my old spot with a renewed satisfaction for not only the position, but for the game in general. "Its the things like these that make me wanna dish out money each month for this game" I thought to my self. Yep, the ops were safe from SilverBullet, the Axis last ditch effort to blow up some equipment that had no real threat to the success of the 3rd Reich anyway. The AA Gun was a different story. Its about this time that decided that I was getting a little too cozy in my spot. "Spud, watch my ass, I'm gonna go get a brew." Spud, who has played entirely too much ET forgot that instead of pressing v51 for Affirmative, instinctively pressed v57 hoping to hear the "You Got it Man!" play over his speakers. I know this because the next thing I heard was "oops followed by an "Affirmative". Next Mission the fridge!

Lets see what we have here....Domestic, Domestic, Dos Equis....ahhh yes! Here it is! Becks! The best German import on this side of the Mississippi! Walking back to the ole computer was no problem now that I possessed the Spinach to my Pop Eye! Suddenly I heard trouble! Lassie was next to the computer barking! I quickly ran up to her. "What is it Girl?" "Did Timmy Fall in the well?" She shook her head and groaned then barked some more. "What happened?" "Is Mother making a pie for dessert?" Again she groaned and shook her head. "Well, what is it Girl?" Lassie hopped up on my chair and put her paws on the keyboard. "Oh shit!" I raced to my computer to examine the situation. I was still alive but I could see Spuds Splattered body all over the wall. Surrounding his guts were the bodies of a few young soldiers who were the victims of oppressive tyrants.

Ahead I could see the soft yellow glow of fresh dynamite against the mahogany wood that supported the Field Operations. Screams of "Defend Our Objective" and "Incoming" sounded. I immediately sprung into action! I went for the engie first. He was defenseless but at the same time capable of ending the game within a few seconds. First shot was a direct hit to his head throwing his helmet off. The next 4 fired, 3 of them pumping hot American lead into his skull. Success, but not completely! A medic was also present followed by a Lieutenant. I needed to gib the engie fast but I couldn't afford to waste half of a clip on him. I tossed a nade on his carcass but the Medic got to him first! I watched in horror as the needle got closer and closer to his body, but then laughed as it took him two times to revive him and then was splattered all over the ops when my nade detonated. I began taking fire from the Lieutenant who was previously busy stabbing Gain Of 20 to death who was AFK near the Ops train. I strafed left then sprung forward, only getting off a few shots. The thought of the Engie crossed my mind. As we exchanged fire I knew that I had to win this gun fight. I aimed for Lieutenant's head and moved the crosshairs ahead just a little to compensate for lag. He dropped to the floor and I moved on. I gave myself a few health pillow dealies and ran back to the ops. Too late! He'd already planted. I quickly ended his life with 6 shots. That brought me down to three bullets. Fortunately an Allied engie was on the case and quickly disarming. I watched in pleasure as he began to disarm the dynamite....

Then FROM HELL! A Panzer emerged from behind the boxes near the warehouse. Everything instantly went into slow motion. I could hear my heart thumping through the speakers. I watched the panzer aim for our only hope of not losing. "OPTIONS!" "WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS!" Reloading the Thompson would have taken too long, but I could feel the Colt against my chest and knew what the answer was. I moved the mouse scroll up and presented the Colt 1911 into my blood thirsty hands. I knew that this would not be enough to kill him... but it wouldn't be the Colt that would end his life..... I ran towards him. Everything was in Baywatch slow-motion. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I screamed as I got closer. I fired my first shot, and a second, and a third. Now I could hear the screaming panzer charging up, ready to unleash a seven pound anti tank explosive on the only man nearby with the knowledge of how to defuse a bomb. I fired again! It was working! He was slowly being pushed back! I fired my last two shots. The last one pushing him over just enough so that he was once again behind the box from whence he came! KAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

His Panzer Fired! Striking the box and creating an orgy of Flame and Guts to which the glorious sound of "Dynamite Defused" was played to! I was immediately surrounded by comrades and fellow soldiers alike! Lassie Barked in enjoyment... I was ecstatic. Fire works were going off! "Nice Job" Spud replied. "Thanks". We saved the day! Yep! "All in a day's work" I thought to myself! I sat back and enjoyed my beer, and thought about the Twins that Spud
had scored the other night. Hmm........ I wonder if they like Becks?.........